Sunday, May 25, 2014

Paulie and the Tickle Monster



Dean has been my friend since kindergarten and that's been a long time ago too. We were each others best men at our weddings and our families are like siblings. His son Paul is like my nephew and so I treat him accordingly. That means that I harass him incessantly at each and every opportunity!

One day I was driving a limousine by their house and it broke down. I secured a ride for the bride and groom but now what do I do? I'm about 30 miles away from home and it's about 10PM. I walk over to Paulie's house and knock on the door. His mother answers and I tell her what happened and that I need a ride. It was completely inconvenient but necessary.

Now here comes Paulie from somewhere in the house, sees me and runs into the bathroom and locks the door from inside. The gauntlet has been thrown down! I start banging on the door yelling his name and he's laughing hysterically but in a panic because Uncle Rich is here and he'll tickle me!

So I'm banging on the door and he's laughing thinking that I can't get him. His mother got me a screwdriver so I start to take the screws out of the door handle all the while banging on the door. I pop the handle through and now he's panicking! I stick the screw driver into the door handle hole, push back and gained access!

Unbeknownst to me, Paul had spread talcum powder all over the bathroom like the bottle was a tennis racket and the balls were coming fast and furious. After he ran out of powder, he tried to stop me by squirting soft soap all over. It didn't work and I tickled the hell out of his 9 year old ass! His mother is laughing, and a friend of hers is puzzled by who I am. Barb finally says, "That's Crazy Uncle Rich!" I guess my antics have been known for a while but connecting my face to it was new to some.

We finally come out of the bathroom covered in dust and looking like a 50's creep show ghost and the mess was everywhere. Barb stopped laughing and said, "Thanks for the mess Uncle Rich" but she gave me a ride home anyway probably to spare the rest of the house.

I just saw Paul not too long ago and he's now engaged and all grown up. Since he had announced that he was engaged, I took pity on him-just this once-and did not cover him with the silly string that I brought. I gave him the can so he could do some mayhem though.

The dinner was over, I met his fiancee and we were all walking out to our cars when I hear his dad whisper, "do it!" Paul took my silly string and tried to squirt me but he was too far away and the stuff hit the ground. We laughed and hugged his parents to leave and I hugged him too. But I took the silly string out of his pocket and coated his ass but good!

Now everyone is laughing, including Paul and his fiancee, the restaurant was happy that we did this outside and there was no talcum powder anywhere. I said it before and I'll say it again. I may grow old but I refuse to grow up!

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